Oops, Eli did it again...and other Week 10 Exam results.

Week 10 was a week of tests. Some teams and players passed, and some failed. Essentially, we found out what the deal was. Let’s start with the Giants/Cowboys game where we saw another test and another sub-par result for Eli Manning. I’m not ready to throw in the towel on him yet…yet…but it’s increasingly apparent that he’s not going to be a “big game” quarterback. In each game he’s needed to step up and lead the team, he’s come up woefully short. A year ago, people were praising his 4th quarter prowess…not anymore. The recipe for beating the Cowboys is to throw the ball deep. You MUST make the Cowboys defend the entire field—they can’t do it! Roy Williams is way below average; he can’t cover, can’t tackle…he needs to be attacked. When you don’t expand the field, you’re allowing the Cowboys to play to their strength. New England knew this. Why didn’t the Giants? Why didn’t they throw the ball down the field AT ALL? I’ll tell you why—because Eli Manning can’t manage a game. He looks overwhelmed, and that’s not supposed to happen to a number one pick a couple of years into his career. Sure, he may learn and grow, but right now he’s way behind where he should be. His body language is a disaster and he never gives off a sense that he’s in charge—it’s almost as if it doesn’t matter to him that he racks up delay of game penalties. How about getting fired up for the Dallas game? How about showing me some passion and swagger? Those who say, “Eli Manning always keeps his cool…” as if it’s a good thing are crazy. Manning mopes, sulks, and indifferently plays his way through these games and I, for one, am getting tired of it. I’m getting tired of him looking like a deer in the headlights. I’m getting tired of hearing how “unflappable” he is, and how New York won’t affect him. Does ANYTHING affect this guy? I don’t want a robot as my quarterback; I want someone who shows they give a crap. Someone who pumps his fist when they succeed, and who gets upset when they fail. I don’t mean to the point of distraction, I mean someone who the team can rally around, someone who inspires. Again—I’m not saying this can’t happen with Eli…but time after time, we see him give us duds for performances and a dud at quarterback isn’t something a winning team has. One solution might be a change of coaches. It might be that Eli doesn’t mesh well with Coughlin. If that’s the case, then Coughlin has to go. We know what Coughlin’s potential is, but we have yet to see the best of Eli Manning. Perhaps a new coach with a new system is what Eli needs. Maybe that’s babying him and maybe that’s using the coach as a scapegoat…but Coughlin has had his chances to correct the recurring problems with this team—ridiculous delay of game penalties, poor play calling, etc.—and if he doesn’t fix it NOW, it’s clearly time for him to hit the bricks. There isn’t a fan, player, or coach of the Giants who isn’t thinking about the collapses of the past right now. We all know what happened last season after the good start, this season can easily go the same way as the Giants travel to Detroit. On the other side of the success/failure fence is Dallas. The test for them was to see if they were really the kings of the NFC, and what better way to find that out than a division game, on the road, against the team people are comparing you to? I’d say they aced the test. Tony Romo, a QB who has all of the characteristics that Manning doesn’t, showed his talent AND his passion for the game for 60 minutes as Dallas’ offense proved to be too much…again…for the defenseless Giants. Dallas’ offensive game plan was a strong one: neutralize the Giants’ front four, attack the weak secondary, repeat. They did so, and proved that a game plan doesn’t have to be complicated to be successful. Defensively, they shortened up the field and the Giants played into their hands. It’s like a boxing match where one guy makes the other “fight his fight”. You watch the fight thinking, “why is the one guy allowing the other to do what HE wants? Why isn’t HE dictating the way the battle is being fought?” That was the Giants game. Hell, that’s ANY Giants game of importance under the Tom Coughlin/Eli Manning regime. It needs to somehow be remedied on the way to Motown because trust me when I tell you—Mike Martz can’t wait to unleash the hounds. This week’s match-up will be a fine test of Eli Manning’s character and his ability to lead this team. Can he do it? We’ll see, but as the betting maxim goes: Winners bet on streaks, losers say they’re due to end.

Testing, testing…Calling Detroit. Can you win on the road and prove to us all that you belong in the NFC conversation? No. And again we’re shown—these are the Lions. When they go on the road, even if it IS Arizona, they simply don’t play well. When you have negative 16 yards rushing, turn the ball over five times, and allow the Cardinals to control the ball for 34 minutes…how is anyone supposed to take you seriously? You’ve failed the test. When you learn how to play disciplined football on the road, let me know and I’ll arrange for another test, but for now—back to school for the Leos. As for the Cards, I’ll give them a “C”, but come on—73 yards rushing and four turnovers? You’ll have to do better than that if you want us to believe you’re not the same old Cardinals.

I’m grading the essays of the New Orleans Saints. Their test was one which would tell us: Were the Saints past their miserable 0-4 start? Was their four-game winning streak going to continue? That’s a big negative on both counts. An “F-minus” for the Saints, and that’s being generous. Once again—the Saints were without any defense and Drew Brees threw terrible INTs. When you’re facing a winless team, usually if you can get them down early, the losing pattern is locked in for them…a losing team who thinks it can actually win a game? That’s a different story. The Saints started off by scoring a TD on their opening drive then forced the Rams into a three and out. If New Orleans had scored on that second drive, or even gotten a few first downs, the Rams would have been done. Instead, Brees throws a pick, the Rams score a TD off the short field, and the winless team is starting to think they can hang…Even then—the Saints returned the ensuing kickoff 64 yards, starting their drive on the Rams’ 33. However, the Saints of games 1-4 were the ones playing this game—Brees was sacked and the Saints were knocked out of FG range. The Rams took the ball and went on an eight minute drive, taking the lead 14-7. Another Brees interception led to a Rams’ FG and it’s 17-7 at halftime. The Rams kept their momentum going with a FG to open the second half, and the Saints answered by getting stopped on fourth and one—Reggie Bush got crushed and the Rams were fired up. Bulger carved the Saints up for another TD and the game was over. New Orleans is now 4-5 and all of the questions they thought they were beyond, are suddenly being asked again. Their winning streak is over, they’ve been humbled, and now they know—they aren’t good enough to simply walk on the field and win. They’re lucky they’re in a terrible division; at 4-5 they still have a chance to win it and make the playoffs. Their final exam is forthcoming.

The Falcons and Panthers took their tests and neither will be giving any speeches at graduation. Vinny looked and played his age, and Carolina’s defense gave up a 30-yard TD pass to a tight end with 30 seconds left in a tied game. The Panthers’ offense couldn’t score a touchdown against Atlanta. That’s an “F”. The Falcons have won two in a row, and Joey Harrington played well…for him—he didn’t throw any interceptions. I’ll give the ATL a C+. I can’t go any higher than that when a team has less than 300 yards of offense and nine penalties.

Pop quiz for the Bills and Dolphins: can the Bills go on the road against a team starved for a win? Can the Dolphins finally get in the Win-column? In true terrible-teams-playing-each-other fashion, this game was a 3-0 thriller at the half, and was 3-2 at one point. Miami had the ball for 37 minutes and could manage only 10 points. Cleo Lemon is simply awful. He needs to not play. Ever. It’s hard to imagine how bad John Beck must be if he can’t get into a game for this train-wreck of a team. Chatman ran the ball well, but he couldn’t take it to the end zone and the Dolphins once again found a way to lose. Since we’re grading this one on a sliding scale, I’ll give the Fish a “C”. They’re on the NFL’s short bus and must be treated differently from the other teams. As for Buffalo, they won so I can’t give them lower than a “C”, but they were pushed around by a winless team, couldn’t manage more than 214 yards of offense, and needed a huge fourth quarter rally to pull this one out. J. P. Losman didn’t play terribly and drove the Bills down the field when he needed to, but this wasn’t an impressive performance by him or the Buffalo offense. However, the defense did what it was supposed to do against the pathetic Fins, and the Bills are 5-4—in the playoff mix.

Baltimore Blutarsky…Zero point zero. The Ravens have been on double secret probation for a few weeks, and I’m (not) sorry to say…You're out! Finished in the NFL! Expelled! I want you out of this league by 9:00 Monday morning! And I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I have notified your local Canadian Football League draft boards and told them that you are now all eligible for CFL service. Holy crap, are the Ravens terrible?!? Steve McNair—please...stop playing. It’s embarrassing. When you can’t lead your team to a score against the Bengals’ defense? It’s time to hang ‘em up. McNair could throw for a pathetic 128 yards while losing two fumbles and tossing an INT…against Cincy! Dude, enough. I can’t give the whole team an “F” because the defense didn’t yield a TD against a pretty good offensive team. But the Ravens most certainly did not pass their test of “Are you a playoff-caliber team?” The answer is “no, we suck”. As for Cincinnati, they scored seven times and won. Carson Palmer seemed happy to have Chris Henry back, hitting the oft-troubled receiver for 99 of his 271 passing yards. The Bengals’ running game was sub-par, managing only 70 yards, but I can’t blame the Bengals for playing it safe once they got into scoring range: they have a great kicker and scoring bunches of FGs is more than enough to outscore the inept Ravens.

The Bears beat Oakland in a test that was pass/fail—that’s how seriously I took this one. The Bears defense stopped the shambolic Raiders’ offense. It’s time for Raider Nation to DEMAND that JaMarcus Russell get some playing time. McCown and Culpepper are useless…Russell’s the number one pick—put his ass on the field! Rex Grossman came in for the injured Brian Griese and threw ONE good pass, so settle down Bears’ fans. You beat one of the worst teams in the league, and struggled to do it. I don’t wanna hear from you.

Kansas City was asked: Are you going to win a game at home against a bitter rival? One which would prove you’re for real? One which would prove you’re a contender in the division? Herm plays the games to win, and the Chiefs were crushed, so…what is there? Two TDs in 11 seconds by the Broncos to start the 2nd half and that was that. You’re not coming back from a large deficit with Damon Huard and Brodie Croyle—they both stink. Priest Holmes’ comeback is admirable, but he was ineffective and didn’t help to take pressure off of the QBs. So KC is a 7-9 team like we all thought. Denver and Selvin Young looked sharp, but is it too late? Perhaps it IS too late for a Wild Card, but the Broncos passed their test of “Are they still alive?” Denver can certainly win that division if they continue to run the ball and win the turnover battle.

That’s the end of the lower-level testing. Now it’s time for some post-grad stuff…the important questions that need answering!

Questions 1 & 2: Are the Redskins a force in the NFC and, Are the Eagles dead? The Redskins could have won this game, but didn’t. When you blow a divisional game at home, you’re not a contender for anything except “biggest disappointment”. The ‘Skins, behind a terrific effort by QB Jason Campbell, expanded their lead to 25-20 late in the fourth quarter, and immediately gave up a 57-yard TD to Brian Westbrook—the one player on the Eagles who can beat you. Then, with over three minutes left, Washington decided to go for it on 4th and 13 from their own 22. Jason Campbell was sacked, and the Eagles took over scoring on the next play to go up by eight—still the Redskins had a chance to tie the game! However, they failed to cross midfield and the squandering was complete. Game over. The Redskins are not a force. The Eagles passed their test—they’re not dead yet. McNabb finally realized he needs to get Westbrook the ball whenever possible and the all-purpose back from Villanova did what he does—produce EVERY time. So, much as it pains me to admit, Philly is still in the playoff mix and with a win over Miami will level their record at 5-5 before they travel to New England. Don’t count this team out. Dammit.

Questions 3 & 4: Are the Packers really that good and, Can Minnesota ride Adrian Peterson and a one-dimensional offense to gain ground in the NFC? I think the Packers have firmly established themselves as no worse than the second best team in the NFC. They are clearly a cut above the Giants, Seahawks and the other pretenders…Brett Favre is playing superbly and the Packers actually had a running game against Minnesota of all teams. Ryan Grant, not Peterson, gave the rushing performance of the game—galloping for 119 and a TD on 25 carries. If Grant continues to provide some ground support, this offense is capable of scoring with Dallas’. What might make the Packers better than Dallas is their defense. Sure, shutting Minnesota down is no great accomplishment—the Vikes have no QB—but the Packers are third in the league in overall defense. That’s not something you’d associate with the cheese from up north, but the D is for real and it’s a lot better than Dallas’, something Dallas might find out later in the season…and something they certainly don’t want to find out at Lambeau in January. Minnesota fails their test—apparently they’re more concerned with fining players for missing games to be at funerals than they are with say…I dunno…finding a QB who can throw a pass. I love Adrian Peterson, but I can’t root for a team with morons running it. Get rid of the entire coaching staff, bring in Kirk Ferentz and Donovan McNabb, and we’ll talk. But to think you can win anything with Tavaris Jackson and Brooks Bollinger—that needs to cost everyone their jobs.

Questions 5 & 6: Is Tennessee the one who will challenge Indy in the AFC South, or is it Jacksonville? This was answered Sunday—Jacksonville stated their claim, easily handling the Titans 28-13. Jacksonville rushed for 166 yards and held Tennessee to a mere 62 yards on the ground. Once again, we see that if Tennessee can’t run it, they can’t win. Vince Young went 24-41 for 257 yards, with one TD and (surprise) two INTs. LenDale White had only eight carries and when the Titans are forced to rely on Young’s arm, they are hard-pressed to emerge victorious. How long Young can fool the world with a QB rating that is the second worst in the league—ahead of only Alex Smith, behind such luminaries as Cleo Lemon, Damon Huard and Kyle Boller? Jacksonville won a game they had to win—they passed their test. Sure, Quinn Gray threw for only 103 yards, but he did throw a TD pass to open the scoring and didn’t throw an INT. He allowed the rest of the team—the defense and Maurice Jones-Drew—to do the heavy lifting, and that’s all the team asks of him. The Jags are now only a game behind Indianapolis and will be getting David Garrard back this week. The Titans are similarly one game behind Indy, and are facing two road games—starting with a trip to Denver this Monday night. That’s a huge game on a huge stage for Vince Young—can he live up to the hype for even one night? That’s for next week’s test…

Questions 7 & 8: Is Cleveland to be taken seriously, and Can the Steelers keep their momentum going? Both teams get high marks for this tough exam. The Browns gave the Steelers all they wanted, but the Steelers, led by moxie-man Ben Roethlisberger, came up with the hard-fought 31-28 win. Each team scored three times in the first half, but it was the Browns who scored TDs and held the Steelers to FGs to lead 21-9 at the interval. Two Steelers’ TDs put the home team in front for the first time, 24-21 and just when you thought the Browns might fold, Joshua Cribbs pulled off an amazing 100-yard kickoff return to recapture the lead for the Browns, 28-24. The former Kent St. quarterback scrambled, did the tightrope walk on the sideline, and outran the Steelers for his mad dash for cash. This came after Cribbs had already returned one kick for 90 yards to set up another Cleveland TD. Yowza. However, the Steelers were not to be denied as Roethlisberger led them on an 8-minute, 14 play drive to take the lead for good. Big Ben played big, as he always seems to. Anyone who saw his 30-yard TD run to start the fourth quarter saw a big time player doing everything he could to lead his team to a win…You can have your pedigree, you can have your flash, I’ll take this Roethlisberger guy any day and twice on Sunday! Cleveland can hold their heads high—they showed that they belong on the same field as the Steelers and they did so by displaying two of the most important things a team on the rise can show—guts, and improvement. Perhaps Romeo has something going on after all? I hope they make the playoffs.

Questions 9 & 10: Could the Colts bounce back from the Pats game, and Are the Chargers ever going to wake the f*&% up? No, and I’m not sure. Indy was clearly hungover and Peyton Manning again gave his detractors the ammunition they need to say “He’s a frontrunner who collapses when things don’t go his way.” Well, he collapsed alright…to the tune of 100 INTs!!! OK, it was only six, but still! Come on! The Colts abandoned the running game despite Manning’s ineffectiveness and just did not play well offensively. For once, the blame cannot be laid at the feet of the Indy defense which played very well, limiting San Diego to 177 yards of offense and holding LaDanian Tomlinson to 76 yards, while scoring a TD. But the defense couldn’t save the Colts—not when Manning was having a give away sale and the special teams were rolling out the red carpet for Darren Sproles. Not a good grade for the Colts, who find themselves worrying all of a sudden. They have only a one-game lead in the division, and should they not win it, they’ll have to play an extra playoff game and then most likely go on the road a couple of times. That’s a far cry from them being unbeaten, fighting for a number one playoff seed a couple of weeks ago, isn’t it? December 2nd, they host Jacksonville…and rest assured, the Jags will be ready. Will Indy? Speaking of being ready, the Chargers came out flying behind Sproles’ opening kick return, then continued the flight with a Sproles punt return to take a 17-0 lead on the stunned Colts. We all know what happened in the game…but consider this when you Bolts’ fans want to brag about beating the defending champs: The Chargers had two special teams TDs, forced Manning into throwing an unprecedented six (!!!) INTS, led 23-0 at home in a game they had to win…and still BARELY won. The Chargers aren’t back, the Chargers were lucky. If they don’t shape up, they will miss the playoffs. Norv Turner is already losing the locker room, the leaders of the team are questioning his ability to handle Philip Rivers, who has regressed this season, and if not for a bad instant replay decision, combined with the ineptitude of Tony Dungy to use his timeouts and the fluke Vinatieri miss, the Chargers would be in revolution mode. What a crazy game and a crazy weekend.

Oh—I didn’t even let the 49ers into the lecture hall to take their test. Dude—seriously, have you EVER seen anything so unwatchable? If you took the Niners in your pool, how mad at yourself were you today? That offense is the worst I’ve ever seen. Worse than the winless 1976 Bucs, worse than the McCormack Colts, or even the 1991 Colts (you remember them Jets fans, the ones who got their only win against you?). Worse than the 1-15 Saints or the Seifert Panthers or (gasp) the 1996 Jets…I guess “they’re bad” is the main point I’m tryin’ to make here. Someone has to do something before Frank Gore kills a teammate. Would a court convict him? We may find out. Seattle won, but they were playing a punchless team at home on Monday night…It’s like LeBron scoring 40 against the Knicks—how impressive IS it? Not very…the Seahawks didn’t get any less soft, but their schedule is even softer than them, so sadly they’ll make the playoffs.
That’s it for today’s test results but join us next week when we will see results from such exam questions as: Will the Giants bounce back? Can the Eagles keep the Dolphins winless? Will the Pats take a trip to Buffalo seriously? They’d better. Will the Chargers be able to keep it going in Jacksonville? Can the Jets stay within 30 of Pittsburgh? How bitter can the rivalry between Dallas and Washington get? And many more! Enjoy the games…

R